The psychology of interpersonal relations

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For a successful, effective communication process, psychological mechanisms of perception are of great importance, since in accordance with them there is cognition and understanding by people of partners and colleagues. Based on an understanding of the specifics of the processes of perception, methods are developed for increasing the effectiveness of communication, which are commonly called communication techniques, which can be used both when you meet your friends and when you talk to strangers.

Reflective listening is the process of deciphering the meaning of messages and establishing active feedback with the speaker. There are four main techniques for reflective listening.

1.      Clarification

It is a direct appeal to the speaker for clarification using the phrases: “I did not quite get the point of your idea”, “Please clarify the last statement, you’ve mentioned” etc., which contributes to a better understanding. 

2.      Reflection of feelings

In this case, special attention is paid to the listener's reflection of the speaker’s emotional state with the help of the phrases: “You are feeling a little upset, I suppose”, “Obviously you feel this way”, etc. Reflecting the feelings of the interlocutor, we show him or her that we understand his or her condition. This technique involves the use of a mechanism of perception - empathy.

3.      Rephrasing

The phrases used are: “If I understand you correctly...”, “In other words, you think...”, “In your opinion ...”, etc., which show the speaker that they are listening and understanding. In case of misunderstanding, this technique helps to correct misunderstanding in time.

4.      Summary

It means summarizing what was said, a brief formulation of the main ideas, feelings of the speaker. This technique is appropriate for long conversations. Used to end a conversation or clarify the meaning of what was said. Phrases like: "So, you think that...", "If you summarize what was said, then...", etc. are used.

In addition, it is always necessary to avoid typical mistakes in the listening process, in particular, you cannot:

- interrupt the interlocutor;

- focus on the conversational characteristics of the communication partner;

- draw hasty conclusions that may become an obstacle to communication;

- hastily object, not having listened to the interlocutor to the end;

- give unsolicited advice.

Success in any type of communication, according to experts, largely depends on how we are able to take into account the interests of people we encounter in everyday life, and, above all, colleagues in study or work. We come to service or study, and we are surrounded by people who have a lot of problems: someone is concerned about their health or the health of a family member, another one is worried about a quarrel with a lover, someone is excited about the result of a hockey (soccer) match, and the last one is annoyed by the lack of necessary spare parts. In other words, each person has his or her own informal, personal theme. It is only necessary to grope for it, and the person will respond warmly to you, because it is extremely necessary to talk about what interests your interlocutor. However, it is not enough just to talk about what the communication partner is interested in. The experience of successful communication suggests that you need to rely on the positive in any person, then in return you will also receive a positive human attitude.

It must be remembered that in the process of communication one should not monopolize the conversation, i.e. to turn the conversation into a monologue, you need to give more talk to the interlocutor and show that you are interested in listening to him or her. You can practice whenever it is comfortable, if you install NEEO Messenger – a new generation app, which allows you to talk to anyone from anywhere in the world.